Be your own Dr. Fix It!

You know those moments when you are stuck in mutual appreciation? Especially at work? Now that is something I feel is very rare! I mean c’mon we all know and can never deny that office drama is a different genre altogether. Someday people just cannot stop behaving like 16 year old high school besties. The very next day they snap at each other. Someday grabbing a coffee together is more like a life saving act. The other day you do not even care to greet each other in the morning. So finding that perfect balance between work pressure and work relationship is really valuable. Is it hard? Impossible? Difficult? Totally not! It’s a piece of cake if you keep an open mind that always keeps the options flowing in the head.

Empathy! As difficult it may seem but building a habit of putting yourself in someone else’s spot help you fix your own problem. Every profession needs a special and definite set of skills that one need to be ace. It always demands situation handling capabilities. But one thing that no one talks about is how one can practice anticipation. This solves almost all the situations we come across at work. Every problem has a solution. But most importantly, what we fell to understand is we create trouble for ourselves. It is not something that happily walks into our lives and muddles our peace. Because we might have gone wrong and failed to realize it, that is why the matter escalated. Now this is not something that is only limited to just the way you do your job but also how you treat your job. And that includes employee camaraderie.

We get used to a person’s habits and behaviors in a very short span of time. And if there is a certain change that we feel, we do not hesitate to start judging them. We become shallow. What we fail to realize is that may be that person is not in the right state of mind. May be there is something bothering him/her other than just work. Like c’mon we all got issues. Life is full of problems. We start judging people but do we ever care to look into ourselves and check our reactions when our peace of mind is at stake? I don’t think so. Keep an open mind and understand why the behavior of your colleague is not a Friday night but more like a hump day. If he/she do not really want to share their problems, do not push. Give them time. If you are a good friend whom he/she can trust, you will be definitely called for advice. So you need to relax and stop judging and drawing conclusion about your colleagues’ bad attitude. Remember it is just for the time being. The power lies in your hand as how you can position your feelings with reference to theirs and be smart enough to not let the negativity come in your way at work. now you cannot definitely share or experience someone’s problems but I believe we all can look back to our times when we were grumpy and think of all the reasons. This will give you an answer to their sudden change of behavior.

Always remember being negative about somebody is not something that you would like to adopt as a habit. Every cause has an effect. Our mind is always positive. When we get emotional and start being judgmental, we become negative. You do not let your mind work because your thoughts are clashing. The more you become negative the more energy you manifest into that unknown thinking into your mind. You tire yourself and you goof up at work.

Compliments! People let us just all agree to this. We love compliments. WE ALL DO! We know it makes us happy. And we also know that it makes everyone happy. So why can’t we just let all that pride and ego shake off and compliment each other. We know happiness can never be confined to one self. The more you share it comes back to you. If compliments can make your day imagine how complimenting your colleagues can make everyone happy. Makes you happy at work. We are all seeking happiness in everything we do. In the process we forget to remember gratitude and admiration towards others. Every work place follows different dynamics. Every friendship or relationship follows a different dynamics. What stays constant is the intensity to return kindness in various forms according to the compatibility of people sharing the bond. Praise and thankfulness builds up the continuity of such mutual trust and support. I believe it is a need to sustain a healthy work culture.

Being from the training background, I feel empathizing and complimenting gives my job a whole different meaning. People from the similar avenue, I guess high five to that. You are doing a wonderful job if you are following these 2 life changing processes. Lifting people up rather than pulling them down makes you a leader. Everytime!

You got this!

As I write this, I wondered about what I should write. Believe me or not, it took me an hour to figure out what would I write. I wrote and I backspace-ed. I wrote an entire paragraph only to find no meaning and I backspace-ed again. I just had this blogger’s block that took over my Solar Plexus. Then it somehow made me think about life in general like ya, this is exactly what happen to us every other day. Like we are stuck with a problem and then we are not able to find a solution for it. Even the simplest of problems we face every day, we tend to look for shortcuts to solve a problem. We are too impatient to understand and give special attention to our individual way of doing things. Like, when I could not find a topic to write, I Googled (here goes another millennial word!) for topics. It was a shortcut. Of course! I browsed around looking for something that seemed catchy to me. Now 1st of all, if the ideas are out there, that means it’s a sellout already. My blog will be just another spin off kinda page out there on the internet. 2nd of all, I was looking for things which seemed interesting to me. Or maybe something that triggers my experiences. Something relatable. So why should I even refer to already known topics? It is like reading the same book over and over when you know how the story ends. If I really want a new one, then write one. That’s when it kinda hit me like this is what we do every single time we are in kind of a trouble. Whenever we are struggling to do things right. Be it big things like managing money or even sillier issues like what kind of haircut will suit you. Do we agree?

I feel it all starts with the fact that we don’t really admire our capabilities. The endless possibilities we can create for ourselves if you just think hard. Really hard. Push yourself to know what we are exactly looking for. We make it a multiple choice question paper for ourselves when the truth is it’s a one-word answer! I know as easy it seem to say, it’s even harder to turn thoughts into reality. But think of it this way. Everything that we see around us, our homes, jobs, marriages, kids, exotic holidays and so on were once thoughts too. Very major, big thoughts. If you can have patience and open your possibility pool in your mind to make all these happen, then what goes wrong when we have to deal with smaller issues like why my partner is not answering my calls? He/she might be busy…..may be sleeping….may be in the bathroom? Why jump into a conclusion that things are really hopeless and you are not able to think of ways to handle it. Like seriously? You need to calm down! Let your mind do the talking to you. Inhala. Exhala.

It might feel very cliché- ed but everyone of us set an example unknowingly. We all have people around us who wish to be like each one of us. You might be regretting the fact that your cheeks are chubby or you have thick eyebrows. But the reality is there will be always people who will admire things in you which you so not like. If you think you are failing at life or you are not able to look for answers to your problems think that it’s just another day when you need to relax and do not let your emotions take control of your thoughts. That will be the only block on your way to find a solution. If you are patient you will be consistent. If you are consistent you will not lose your composure to find the end result. If you do not tend to find the end that means your mind is hopeful. You are letting yourself think. You will find a solution to every freaking thing in the Universe. This applies to perhaps everywhere we feel stuck. The more you let yourself think positively, the more you will find yourself anticipating problems and that is very important people. To forecast the odds if you want to get somewhere or do something.

We often meet people who are always so perfect in everything they do. They live perfect lives. Some of us get inspired. Some of us get jealous. What we fail to know is how everything can be so perfect with those few people all the time. People, let me tell you they are in control of their emotions. Yes, that’s the key to find stability in thoughts and possibilities opening up for us. People who are in control of their emotions, their thoughts are never cluttered or they never over think. Over thinking only narrows our abilities to find solutions to our problems. If you want to be a writer, what are you doing about it? Why are you not writing? Because you have a job, so you hardly get time? Wow! Because you think you will write only to be a best-selling author? Wow-er! Like do you even know that it takes how much consistency and push to make such a thought turn into a reality. Honey, like seriously, grab a pen and notebook or your computer and start writing. Even a sentence will do. That’s your thought right there. Taking you closer to the answer. To the reality. If your individual thoughts are not recognized by yourself, no one will. If you are not patient enough to not draw conclusions, then issues will never be solved. You will not have a good sleep. You will not be happy.

Understand to not let your emotions get in the way of your thoughts. It might happen that your thoughts are quite general or regular but those belong to you. You own them. Its 100% authentic of your mind. Trust the process and your gut! It will find you a way to get what you want. In the course, who knows you might find new opportunities and new openings and you get to see another side of your endless potentials. Just like I was all confused in the beginning of the blog and now I even have another idea to write for my next blog. You got all you need. It is all in your head. You got this!

Cool people at work!

The retard twinge in the bottom of the stomach. Ring a bell? The moment when your ovaries wanna take revenge for not getting pregnant? Right, ladies it’s the monthly cycle that I am talking about here. It is a major event every month. Phew! I mean much to remind us of our existence. Periods are so tricky. It’s a battlefield in your body when you get it. It plays with your mind like a fuckboy. You are confused between the feeling to puke or poop. And to top all of it, the cramp comes like the slayer of your workplace charm.

For us working ladies, I mean honestly, I feel universe proud for handling this routine fury and juggle office drama with so much of panache. It was one of those days in my life when this murder scene happened and I was at work. I had a heavy flow and the pain was excruciating. As a trainer, we usually have to use the classroom space a lot to make the session effective. With the modern ways of training and teaching, sitting down and pointing at the presentation and explaining things seem very archaic. So ya, it was the 2nd day and I signed in at work as usual. I did not feel any cramp till then. I started with my session and everything was going well. My happy hormones were at peace. But obviously, the Sparta state of my uterus had to find ways to disrupt that harmony. The pain was suddenly all over my lower part of the body. Even toe muscles felt that bad contractions. It sucks if it’s so sudden and especially the class was quite interesting. Well it was almost lunch time and I thought may be the cramp was because I was starving. I tried to deal with the stupid spasms and ate my lunch. It did not work. I took pain killers and waited the remaining break time to see if the pain will be gone. Holy McGonagall! How I wished I knew some kinda magic spell to stop the cramps. It was almost time for the next session and I realized it was here to stay for I don’t know how long.IMG-20180221-WA0019

My previous jobs were very hardcore operational and it did not matter if the bleed and cramp to death. There was never any alternative option or a person who could take over my part of the job so that I could rest. If the pain screamed “die bitch” I had to call in sick and my work will be carried forward to the next day. But working as a teacher trainer, I could not do so. Every session was on schedule and the pending lessons could not be carried forward to the next day. It just made me so angry. But what I experienced then brought me enough job satisfaction.

You see when we talk about job satisfaction, we only talk about how good the work pays or how the name of the organization is an upgrade for our job experience and so on. What we miss out on spotting is that the people we work with matters a lot. Hella lot! And I felt I should dedicate tonight’s blog to them. I have this lovely set of trainers that I share my work space with. With that pain and that occasional feeling to throw up I was not able to move around, let alone resuming the class. They gave me this princess treatment by getting me a hot water bag, deciding for me and talk to the HR for a period leave and taking over the remaining session for the day. It touched me like literally in a huge way! I mean this was like a big act of kindness and colleague relationship that I experienced. Sometimes the best place to work is not the organization and its cool rules but also the cool people you work with. Thank you ladies for being this awesome! It meant a heaven lot!

The win-win moment

What is the first thing that comes to our mind when we think of happiness? Shopping? Traveling? Music? Love? Food? Sleeping? Your aspirations? Dream job? Whatever it may be, the thought of it always leaves a smile on our face. What we do not realize is that we mostly confuse happiness within ourselves to the materials that we feel attached to. We think the resolution to find happiness is in our abilities as to how fast and how efficiently we meet our personal demands. It all starts with setting expectations without a mind-set to contribute. That makes us crib about not getting what we want. Do we all agree?

We are always looking to seek change in our lives. Change that gives us access to the path that will grant all our dreams and desires. What we fail to attain is the clear picture in our head of the idea that will make us happy. It has happened with me numerous times. Here is a small example.

I love traveling. Period. And what can be even better if I was getting paid for being happy? So I decided to leave my desk life and applied for a cabin attendant job. I cracked the interview and survived the training program quite well. I started to operate flights. Holy mother! It was just what I wanted. I literally went places. It amazed me how I was part of different time zones every day. The world seemed just as close as I wanted it to be. I was living my dream life. I thought I was happy. My closet spoke multi culture and the souvenirs from each country filled my home with global vibrations. I will sleep only to wake up in a different set of urbanity every day. The sensation of take-off and landing, the mesmerizing sunsets and sunrises from 39,000 ft above sea level was what my days used to thrive on. Majorly, what made me feel really special was I along with my set of crew was the only souls up in the sky to take care of hundreds of passenger day in and day out. That sense of responsibility filled my heart with immense pride for the job that I signed up for.IMG-20170204-WA0025

What I did not realize was I looked for a way to be happy by channeling my energy into the irrelevance. I started to have expectations from a different game altogether. I did go to numerous lands of different lifestyles and enjoyed the trance. But soon I started falling sick and the jet lag took a toll on my sleep cycle. The job was ever demanding and the only thing that I could think of after I checked out after each flight was the bed. I will sleep for hours skipping food and sometimes even with my make up on! By the time I woke up fresh, the layover time will be almost up, and there I was again getting ready to sleep in another time zone.

Now, if you see I was traveling, right? But I was not clear with my goals. I did not have that clear picture in my mind to find a way to travel without becoming the lazy Lina! I was not happy. In this drama that I created for myself I messed up a lot of things. I almost gave up on writing. I stopped reading. The only thing that I did on an off day was to go and hit the nightclubs. The loud music helped me calm the chaos in my head. And then I will get tired once again and I will crash only to wake up to another air-borne expectation to find happiness. I grew distant from my family. I was staying in a different city and with the roster I did not have much space to squeeze in a 5-minute video call a day. It was bad. BAD.

People, let me tell you all; asking questions to yourself, talking to yourself (in your mind, of course!) is the key to find happiness. I was like, what am I doing? I’ve a job that some girls would die for. Great! Do I get to travel? Absolutely! Do I get to explore the remote specialties wherever I go? Not really. Does that make me a tourist or a traveler? Tourist, any day! Was the money managed at least? No way, the necessities were paid for, I was never on budget. So I was the princess of my own delusional kingdom of impulsive decisions! Has the job become more important than the actual reason of doing it? Totally! Was I able to share my happiness? I could not. I was mostly too fatigued to do so. Was I able to inspire and influence people? You think! Was I happy? No!

I went deeper into my mind and asked why do I actually want to travel? Because I wanted to know how the world works around me. Do I want to contribute something to the world? Yes! I always wanted to discuss and influence ideas with multi cultures. And there, right there, I got the clear picture in my mind. I wanted to travel not because I was expecting to witness the famous spots around the world. But the adventure that was there in sharing and discussing experiences in a multi culture set up. I finally found the goal to my happiness in traveling. I changed my job, scored myself an ESL trainer placement and there I had it. I found happiness! Now if you’re teaching English as a second language or a foreign language, chances are your job makes you to interact with a whole bunch of people from different parts of the map with different humor and culture. It was an exchange game that I started to play. I taught English and in return I learned about different foreign lifestyles. I became a local wherever I travelled and taught. And that’s how one moment of introspection helped me to change my direction to get closer to one of my major dreams. Cheesy, right? Try it! That’s how it actually works. Introspection is the word incase, you need a recap!

Now, if you look at it, happiness is tricky. The more we tend to find it for us the more we become unconscious to positivity. It is good to put yourself first however all our emotions are projected towards the elements or the energies around us. So if we are not able to find a balance in expecting and contributing, the zen zone will seem far away from achieving. That’s just what I did before I was introspective (gosh! I’m so obsessed with the word.) I did not have a deeper version of my aspirations in my mind. I kept on expecting something out of the airline job without contributing much to find happiness. I was selfish and delusional. In every phase of our lives, it is very necessary to understand the hidden layers of happiness. The true nature of the reason why we choose to be someone, to be with someone, to explore something, to dream something. Happiness is a state of mind which only works when the reason involves something or someone more than just you. Sense the message behind everything that you wish for yourself. If you want a clear picture of your dreams and set a goal you will always discover it is never a one-man show. You are happy when you share.

To all my people out there, make a wish to be happy every moment by understanding the real value you bring in to the world. Make a conscious effort in focusing in your thoughts. Question your emotions. Share happiness. It is never restricted to a material connect. A little change in your perspective everyday will make you surprise yourself someday. Then if you look back to everything which was going wrong in your life, it will only reflect a smile on your face. That’s what I call a win-win.