What is the first thing that comes to our mind when we think of happiness? Shopping? Traveling? Music? Love? Food? Sleeping? Your aspirations? Dream job? Whatever it may be, the thought of it always leaves a smile on our face. What we do not realize is that we mostly confuse happiness within ourselves to the materials that we feel attached to. We think the resolution to find happiness is in our abilities as to how fast and how efficiently we meet our personal demands. It all starts with setting expectations without a mind-set to contribute. That makes us crib about not getting what we want. Do we all agree?
We are always looking to seek change in our lives. Change that gives us access to the path that will grant all our dreams and desires. What we fail to attain is the clear picture in our head of the idea that will make us happy. It has happened with me numerous times. Here is a small example.
I love traveling. Period. And what can be even better if I was getting paid for being happy? So I decided to leave my desk life and applied for a cabin attendant job. I cracked the interview and survived the training program quite well. I started to operate flights. Holy mother! It was just what I wanted. I literally went places. It amazed me how I was part of different time zones every day. The world seemed just as close as I wanted it to be. I was living my dream life. I thought I was happy. My closet spoke multi culture and the souvenirs from each country filled my home with global vibrations. I will sleep only to wake up in a different set of urbanity every day. The sensation of take-off and landing, the mesmerizing sunsets and sunrises from 39,000 ft above sea level was what my days used to thrive on. Majorly, what made me feel really special was I along with my set of crew was the only souls up in the sky to take care of hundreds of passenger day in and day out. That sense of responsibility filled my heart with immense pride for the job that I signed up for.
What I did not realize was I looked for a way to be happy by channeling my energy into the irrelevance. I started to have expectations from a different game altogether. I did go to numerous lands of different lifestyles and enjoyed the trance. But soon I started falling sick and the jet lag took a toll on my sleep cycle. The job was ever demanding and the only thing that I could think of after I checked out after each flight was the bed. I will sleep for hours skipping food and sometimes even with my make up on! By the time I woke up fresh, the layover time will be almost up, and there I was again getting ready to sleep in another time zone.
Now, if you see I was traveling, right? But I was not clear with my goals. I did not have that clear picture in my mind to find a way to travel without becoming the lazy Lina! I was not happy. In this drama that I created for myself I messed up a lot of things. I almost gave up on writing. I stopped reading. The only thing that I did on an off day was to go and hit the nightclubs. The loud music helped me calm the chaos in my head. And then I will get tired once again and I will crash only to wake up to another air-borne expectation to find happiness. I grew distant from my family. I was staying in a different city and with the roster I did not have much space to squeeze in a 5-minute video call a day. It was bad. BAD.
People, let me tell you all; asking questions to yourself, talking to yourself (in your mind, of course!) is the key to find happiness. I was like, what am I doing? I’ve a job that some girls would die for. Great! Do I get to travel? Absolutely! Do I get to explore the remote specialties wherever I go? Not really. Does that make me a tourist or a traveler? Tourist, any day! Was the money managed at least? No way, the necessities were paid for, I was never on budget. So I was the princess of my own delusional kingdom of impulsive decisions! Has the job become more important than the actual reason of doing it? Totally! Was I able to share my happiness? I could not. I was mostly too fatigued to do so. Was I able to inspire and influence people? You think! Was I happy? No!
I went deeper into my mind and asked why do I actually want to travel? Because I wanted to know how the world works around me. Do I want to contribute something to the world? Yes! I always wanted to discuss and influence ideas with multi cultures. And there, right there, I got the clear picture in my mind. I wanted to travel not because I was expecting to witness the famous spots around the world. But the adventure that was there in sharing and discussing experiences in a multi culture set up. I finally found the goal to my happiness in traveling. I changed my job, scored myself an ESL trainer placement and there I had it. I found happiness! Now if you’re teaching English as a second language or a foreign language, chances are your job makes you to interact with a whole bunch of people from different parts of the map with different humor and culture. It was an exchange game that I started to play. I taught English and in return I learned about different foreign lifestyles. I became a local wherever I travelled and taught. And that’s how one moment of introspection helped me to change my direction to get closer to one of my major dreams. Cheesy, right? Try it! That’s how it actually works. Introspection is the word incase, you need a recap!
Now, if you look at it, happiness is tricky. The more we tend to find it for us the more we become unconscious to positivity. It is good to put yourself first however all our emotions are projected towards the elements or the energies around us. So if we are not able to find a balance in expecting and contributing, the zen zone will seem far away from achieving. That’s just what I did before I was introspective (gosh! I’m so obsessed with the word.) I did not have a deeper version of my aspirations in my mind. I kept on expecting something out of the airline job without contributing much to find happiness. I was selfish and delusional. In every phase of our lives, it is very necessary to understand the hidden layers of happiness. The true nature of the reason why we choose to be someone, to be with someone, to explore something, to dream something. Happiness is a state of mind which only works when the reason involves something or someone more than just you. Sense the message behind everything that you wish for yourself. If you want a clear picture of your dreams and set a goal you will always discover it is never a one-man show. You are happy when you share.
To all my people out there, make a wish to be happy every moment by understanding the real value you bring in to the world. Make a conscious effort in focusing in your thoughts. Question your emotions. Share happiness. It is never restricted to a material connect. A little change in your perspective everyday will make you surprise yourself someday. Then if you look back to everything which was going wrong in your life, it will only reflect a smile on your face. That’s what I call a win-win.