Save your life and how!

When we talk about superheroes, we go back to those larger-than-life tales of comic heroes who wears a costume and goes the supernatural way to save the planet. The entire idea revolves around the fact that they are living a secret identity and when the world is in need of a miracle they wear the mask and cape of a savior. The mask lets them hide their real face. They are selfless souls who do not want to reveal themselves for popularity. I think that is the biggest driving force of a person to be the superhero- to be selfless. That makes them the kind of people we look up to for motivation if not miracle. With that thought I guess we all have these secret superheroes in our lives. Some one who has got the answers to all our problems. Someone who brings peace to the chaos around us or in the head. I think we all can agree on this part. Do we?

If we go back to our childhood days or kindergarten days we always used to wear a cloth around our neck and stand on a chair with one arm raised pretending to be a superhero flying in the sky. We had a belief in ourselves that we could change the world around us for better. That faith within ourselves made us play our polar opposites. So what went wrong when we grew up? What happened to that faith? Why did we stop believing in ourselves and seek for help from needless chatter over alcohol at a pub. Or hurt ourselves or may be kill ourselves. I mean c’mon, it’s a life, it’s a planned and emotional effort that created you. You got no right over killing that creation. Why cannot we just mute this ending thoughts or stop seeking external help that intoxicates you in something futile. Life is a beautiful gift! Feel that air around you. Today if you are reading this blog, appreciating or criticizing whatever is your experience, it is because you believe in your thoughts…..you believe in your existence!

Believe in yourself. That is your superpower. That will drive you to give your thoughts a reality. If you know what you want, you will find ways to get what you want. Universe is nothing but all our energies and thoughts colliding together all at once. If you have that ability to give birth to any thought, any desire, any wish, that very moment pledge to never stop believing in it. I mean I know life is never a bed of roses, but your belief can get you one if you do not lose out on that invisible mask and cape of miracle for yourself. When you feel life is not a fairy tale, go back to those moments when you did something for the first time and you were nervous. You did it, right? So why cannot you have that vulnerably badass attitude towards everything? Towards yourself? Be selfless to your aspirations and desires. You will find ways to join the dots.

Break out from that shell of impatience of disbelief about yourself and feel the strength beneath that invisible mask. It is our flesh and bone that proves the existence of an idea. The idea is you.You are a your superhero. Yes, you are! You have a story to tell. Your existence motivates and may be the reason of someone else’s peace. Value yourself and get loud with the belief that you matter. You matter to the time that is ticking along with your actions and thoughts.

Good day, superheroes!

 

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It’s a different kinda thing….

We love to be surrounded by people who will appreciate and listen to us, don’t we? The laughter, the compliments, the peace, the light-hearted conversations. The times when you know that the person is just one call away. That person who is always ready to dig into the same shit like yours. It is a piece of cake for that person to know how you feel and what you feel just by reading your texts…..and it gets even weird when that person speaks your mind when you say nothing at all. The ticket to comfort, that person makes you feel home whenever he/she is around. Do we all agree?

Now you must be thinking I’m being silly with extra cheese and talking about love. Yes, you are right. I am talking about love. I mean why not? It is the biggest superpower we can absorb from the Universe. It can make or break worlds. But over here, I am not here to talk about the worlds that has got names. No I am not here talking about families, friends or lovers in general but that one person who is above all that. That one person who knows all your flaws and that person is never hesitant to feel weak around you. Vulnerability is not an option but a habit when this person is around. Updating that person about every thing that you do, everything that you feel……and that person is right there for you, like right there all the time. And the best part is that person never encourages you to let it loose all crazy and go all over the place. Such connections are rare and real, ain’t they?

Believe in that bond you share. It is just like that ripple in the pond when you drop the pebble into the water. Each time you think or see the person you radiate positive message and that will never go wrong in pulsing out love in tomorrow’s reality. Reality is tough, love keeps you going. Stay calm and give time when there is a dent in the equation. Respect each others secrets and aspirations. Above all, feel blessed that you got one such person in life with whom you can talk about your weaknesses and makes you stronger. Not many people are lucky!

Life is a ticking timer…

Humans as we say are social animals. We are sucked into this whole galactic feel to please people with a intention of security. Family, friendships, marriages and so on, each relationship has its own vibe and aura. We are all running after these bonds we share because it makes us happy. The shoulders are right there for us when we need them. That peace is not material and it can never be measured. Our world revolves around these beautiful set of amazing people who makes the existence worthwhile. We start taking this existence for granted thinking they are here to stay. And then  a time comes when we grow apart. School’s over. College’s over. Jobs rule our weekdays. Priorities change. Happens all the time, right?

Now if you look into it carefully, out of so many people we meet, only few we remember for the rest of our lives. Good or bad, we cross paths and the memories are unforgettable. We crave for the memories and the thoughts take us away from reality at times. It is so interesting to see that our human minds at times start dreaming so hard that it makes us extend those memories into our unfulfilled or unfinished wishes or promises. It makes us regret the reality. The different lives that join with our stories are sometimes not stagnant. But the depth of bond comes in disguise of attachments. Once the ties are non-existent we start  looking out for options to fill that emptiness. This insecurity makes us look for alternatives and that is when we make superficial choices. This applies for all. Be it a best friend, a parent or a lover. And then comes some other kind of relationships which are special to us but beyond any explanation. These are the evil sweet ones which makes your day for reasons known only to those whoever shares the bond. The inner jokes, the amazing match of thoughts, it is just so damn positive! Finding alternatives to these ones are sometimes never possible.

So as I write this, I cannot help but wonder, why do we even look for an emptiness filler when the void can never be helped? The attachments we share with each person are all different. With love it all grows. We stay because the other one sharing the bond listens to us or does not mind to stay with our imperfections. With time what we do not realize is that when the bond becomes a habit we become control freaks. Now that we are comfortable with the relationship we try to change the dynamics according to our perspectives. Sometimes we call it sacrifice and sometimes this become a tool to sabotage the attachment. Eventually, we start finding the bad in the relationship and we create drama episodes for ourselves! I mean, like why? Are we not paying for Netflix already?

If that person is really a special one and in the long run you will be happy no matter what, why will you even think of ways to get rid of the bond? They made a mistake and repeated the same thing and you got trust issues? Or they stopped listening to you so you just wanna make your life like a social media handle and block that attachment forever? We say “there is no smoke without fire.” All we do is see the smoke and ignore the fire. Rather than finding ways to stay away or finding flaws why not we look into the times we were actually happy and laughing and found ways to keep it alive? I mean yes, there are times we wanna run away from abusive or attachments that question our dignity. This is justified. But this is not the case all the time. Is it?

Hold on to the attachments because time is life!

The Dreams

I did not really have an ideal teenage. Like few other kids, I suffered the lack of love from both my parents. Mom said Dad was wrong and Dad said Mom was wrong…..you know what I mean. Plus the adolescent passage of life  was on its pioneer twist. The usual confusion of when to act mature or be the kid, the cyber addiction, the depression, body image, etc took their major turns in sabotaging the peace of my mind. Also, school was a different pressure. Having boyfriend was a cool thing. So I had to look out for one as well! I sound mad, do I? No, I do not. This is real life drama I’m talking about. Teenage was quite a task. PHEW!!

In the middle of this drama what I forgot was to not follow the crowd and take my childhood wishes seriously. I always wanted to play the violin. My dad used to play one. So may be it was kinda passed on to me. I always wanted to read a lot of books and write even more. I had a bucket list of doing things that as a child felt like a dream. As I grew up, the peace of mind was over shadowed with sometimes necessary and sometimes evil challenges. The Dreams felt far fetched and so was my peace.The book worm and the author in me spirit transferred with a couch potato. I started living my life in a virtual bubble of T.V. drama series to escape from the bad phase. Somehow I survived school.

University was another episode straight from the bratz block of pettiness! “Having fun” was like breathing. Going for the classes with a weekday hangover was considered the it thing. So was the urge for promising myself to be sober from the next weekend. Deep down I knew I was clearly not feeling good about myself. Amidst all the fun and fancy all I craved for was some silence where I could have a mindful rendezvous with myself. It was exhausting! And it’s been 5 years that I completed my degree, still I wonder why I was being so away from myself and The Dreams. I started blaming my parents for everything that went wrong. I witnessed their broken marriage, so I always felt insecure in matters of love relationships. I made mistakes and got into unnecessary attachments. I was mean and pathetic.

I always scored good marks my whole academic life, so I presumed job will be a piece of cake. Then came the reality slap.

Getting a job that loves you is not easy, people! It took me 5 years after my degree to actually figure out what kinda job would not make me regret the weekdays! So now that I found what I should have done all these years, I finally realized dreams of the childhood is something we all should hold on to. The mind then had zero knowledge of the planet. It was a clean slate. So the dreams were even clearer. As we grow up and the never ending tricky and sticky situations knock us down, we forget to get up. We forget the fact that we own our lives and the dreams in it. We own the time that we are born with. We either start racing towards the uncertain or just go with the flow. It was one helluva revelation that changed my perspective in a lot of things.

Think of those days when you used to make handmade cards for your mother, or you believed in Santa. Go back in time. Think of those things that filled your bucket list for the future when you were a kid. Those dreams were not influenced. Those dreams do not need a background mention. Think of the times when you were a kid and you wanted to achieve something when you grew up. If you are not being fair to yourself or that is a universe away reality, at least take some mindful time out of your schedule and focus may be, 10 minutes of your day on those things. May be you wanted to be a singer and now you have a sales job! So what? Dreams are not always money-friendly. These are here for you peaceful state of mind. Spend 10 minutes learning a new song everyday. Sing to yourself. You will have a happy good night sleep!

Millennial-ly challenged!

Whoever are from the 90’s, people let me tell you all, WE ARE THE BEST THE UNIVERSE HAS GOT IN THE MOMENT! A big shoutout to all millennials who think life is not fair. It  is very very justified to complain about everything. To be impatient. To feel “hangry” and then complain about getting fat. To get sloshed and then complain of a hungover and wasted Sunday. It is absolutely legit to be the fox who thought the grapes are sour. It is the coolest thing ever to fake a good life on social media to feel the emotional void and confusion. After all, we are adulating, right? And it is not a piece of cake!

Being an adult is matter of time. Adulting is a matter of choice. We are so busy giving names to our bosses but what about the fact that we are too distracted to get our jobs done? We are watching online videos of how to stay in shape but what are we actually doing about it? We plan to save money but what about the fact that we invest into our impulsive buys and then few days later we even forget about it? We think we are “not meant to be” but what about the fact that we only WANT and do not GIVE into the relationship? We say we are still in love with our ex-partners then why do we need a rebound? And then again why do we deny it is not just sex? We want to do so many things in life but we end up watching T.V., eating junk and sleep, then why do we blame it on our “hectic” work schedule? If you are happy being single then why do you get drunk at a friend’s wedding and steal the spotlight from the newly wed couple? Because life is not fair? No bruh! It is you who is being unfair to your life.

My belief says every cause has an effect. The choices we make, makes us who we are in the moment. As I write this, I wonder why are we not happy with the fact that we are officially adults? I mean we always wanted our credit/debit cards to swipe and shop, take our own decisions, think of investments, dinner dates and talking mature stuffs and so on. When we were kids, it was a dream to do all of that. To grow up and be like the adults of the family. Get a job, have our own homes, doing things that we were not allowed to do by our parents, own cars like dads, wear high heels like moms, make life decisions like parents without getting guided, etc, etc. So what happened when its actually our chance to do all of that?

First of all, accept the fact that its our time to be finally self sufficient. It is about time that we stop confusing our mind to infantilize ourselves. I mean our parents did not send us to bunch of expensive schools and helped us to get degrees to just get rocked to sleep at 25! It is not fun to be productive. The more you say that everything is unfair and being an adult is not an easy task, you disrespecting your parents, do you realize that? Our parents had 2 kids and a dog being spoon fed at our age along with their jobs plus a personal life to take care of. It was not any jugglery! And we were absorbed into that idea of managing life like them when we were in school. And now when the stage is all ours we want to chicken out.

Second of all, every stage of life is hard if we think like that. Because we are supposed to improve everyday. That is called progress. When we were kids we were struggling with homeworks but now when we look back it feels the early life was an easy one. Let us just understand that we cannot go back in time and do things we already know and show off the fact that we are ‘adulting like a pro”. Accept who we are and learn to know your aspirations. A hope or desire is not something which only has to be a big plan. We all can start small. For example, writing down a to-do list every day. Keeping a check on how much water we drink every day. Or even better help or make someone smile to help or make yourself happy. No hope is a lame one. Every small step however absurd it might be for the rest of the world, you know what you want. Clear the clutter. For every complaint that you have there is an answer. The cause was created deep from your mind which is affecting your happiness in the moment. Before you create the question, look within. The answer is right there! Organize your life in bits. The dots will connect eventually. If you feel negative and regret about anything, make a point to feel lucky. You are only giving yourself a chance to correct the errors. Correct your errors in your pace. Be consistent. Life will be fair and being an adult will be a matter of achievement. Happiness is in your mind. Let it stay away from its premature demise.

P.S. This was not alcohol but a life experience of a 25 year old!

Be your own Dr. Fix It!

You know those moments when you are stuck in mutual appreciation? Especially at work? Now that is something I feel is very rare! I mean c’mon we all know and can never deny that office drama is a different genre altogether. Someday people just cannot stop behaving like 16 year old high school besties. The very next day they snap at each other. Someday grabbing a coffee together is more like a life saving act. The other day you do not even care to greet each other in the morning. So finding that perfect balance between work pressure and work relationship is really valuable. Is it hard? Impossible? Difficult? Totally not! It’s a piece of cake if you keep an open mind that always keeps the options flowing in the head.

Empathy! As difficult it may seem but building a habit of putting yourself in someone else’s spot help you fix your own problem. Every profession needs a special and definite set of skills that one need to be ace. It always demands situation handling capabilities. But one thing that no one talks about is how one can practice anticipation. This solves almost all the situations we come across at work. Every problem has a solution. But most importantly, what we fell to understand is we create trouble for ourselves. It is not something that happily walks into our lives and muddles our peace. Because we might have gone wrong and failed to realize it, that is why the matter escalated. Now this is not something that is only limited to just the way you do your job but also how you treat your job. And that includes employee camaraderie.

We get used to a person’s habits and behaviors in a very short span of time. And if there is a certain change that we feel, we do not hesitate to start judging them. We become shallow. What we fail to realize is that may be that person is not in the right state of mind. May be there is something bothering him/her other than just work. Like c’mon we all got issues. Life is full of problems. We start judging people but do we ever care to look into ourselves and check our reactions when our peace of mind is at stake? I don’t think so. Keep an open mind and understand why the behavior of your colleague is not a Friday night but more like a hump day. If he/she do not really want to share their problems, do not push. Give them time. If you are a good friend whom he/she can trust, you will be definitely called for advice. So you need to relax and stop judging and drawing conclusion about your colleagues’ bad attitude. Remember it is just for the time being. The power lies in your hand as how you can position your feelings with reference to theirs and be smart enough to not let the negativity come in your way at work. now you cannot definitely share or experience someone’s problems but I believe we all can look back to our times when we were grumpy and think of all the reasons. This will give you an answer to their sudden change of behavior.

Always remember being negative about somebody is not something that you would like to adopt as a habit. Every cause has an effect. Our mind is always positive. When we get emotional and start being judgmental, we become negative. You do not let your mind work because your thoughts are clashing. The more you become negative the more energy you manifest into that unknown thinking into your mind. You tire yourself and you goof up at work.

Compliments! People let us just all agree to this. We love compliments. WE ALL DO! We know it makes us happy. And we also know that it makes everyone happy. So why can’t we just let all that pride and ego shake off and compliment each other. We know happiness can never be confined to one self. The more you share it comes back to you. If compliments can make your day imagine how complimenting your colleagues can make everyone happy. Makes you happy at work. We are all seeking happiness in everything we do. In the process we forget to remember gratitude and admiration towards others. Every work place follows different dynamics. Every friendship or relationship follows a different dynamics. What stays constant is the intensity to return kindness in various forms according to the compatibility of people sharing the bond. Praise and thankfulness builds up the continuity of such mutual trust and support. I believe it is a need to sustain a healthy work culture.

Being from the training background, I feel empathizing and complimenting gives my job a whole different meaning. People from the similar avenue, I guess high five to that. You are doing a wonderful job if you are following these 2 life changing processes. Lifting people up rather than pulling them down makes you a leader. Everytime!